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Top 40 Accounting Jokes to Liven Up Your Day

Now that tax season is over, accountants finally have space to lighten up and take a beach day — or keep working (whatever makes you happiest). We know how hard you work and wanted to put together a resource to give you a much-needed and well-deserved break. Here are — in this writer’s opinion — 9 accounting jokes to liven up your day:

Our Favorite Accounting Jokes


  1. Welcome to the accounting department, where everybody counts.
  2. Where do homeless accounts live? In a tax shelter.
  3. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
  4. What do you call an accountant with an opinion? An auditor.
  5. How does Santa’s accountant value his sleigh? The Net Present Value.
  6. Why are accountants so cool, calm and collected? They have strong internal controls.
  7. What do you call a trial balance that does not balance? A late night.
  8. What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don’t? Depreciation.
  9. They say that two things in life are unavoidable: death and taxes. At least death only happens once!
  10. There are two steps to creating a successful accounting business:
    1. Don’t tell them everything that you know.
    2. [redacted]
  11. For every tax problem encountered there is a solution that’s straightforward, uncomplicated, and wrong.
  12. What does an accountant say when getting on a train? Mind the GAAP.
  13. How do you know an accountant is taking a vacation day? He comes in after 8am and isn’t wearing a tie!
  14. How many accountants does it take to screw in a lightbulb? How many did it take last year?
  15. What do you call a financial controller who always works through lunch, take two days holiday every three years, works every weekend and stays until 10pm every night? Lazy.
  16. What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet? Lost.
  17. What do accountants like most about the weekends? They get to wear casual clothes to work!
  18. Children may be a tax deductible, but they’re still taxing.
  19. Why don’t skunks have to pay taxes? They’ve only got one scent.
  20. Why do accountants make good lovers? They’re great with figures!
  21. What do actuaries do to liven up their parties? Invite an accountant.
  22. It’s an accrual world.
  23. Did you hear about the cannibal CPA? He charges an arm and a leg!
  24. Have you heard the one about the fun accountant? Me neither.
  25. If an accountant’s wife cannot sleep all she has to say is “Dear, tell me about your day at work.”
  26. What do you call an accountant without a calculator? Lonely.
  27. How can you tell if an accountant is extroverted? He looks at your shoes when talking to you instead of looking at his own.
  28. What’s the differences between lawyers and accountants? Accountants know they’re boring.
  29. What’s an accountant’s favorite type of cereal? Post!
  30. Ever wonder why it’s called a Form 1040? For every $50 you earn, you get $10 and they get $40.
  31. How do accountants manage to stay out of debt? They learn to act their wage.
  32. A woman went to the doctor who told her she only had 6 months to live.
    “Oh my God!” said the woman. “What shall I do?”
    “Marry an accountant,” suggested the doctor.
    “Why?” asked the woman. “Will that make me live longer?”
    “No,” replied the doctor. “But it will SEEM longer.”
  33. An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. “Doctor, I just can’t get to sleep at night,” he says. “Have you tried counting sheep?” inquires the doctor. “That’s the problem — I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it.
    -via Nichole Morford at LifeHealthPro
  34. What is the definition of an accountant? Someone who solves a problem you did not know you had in a way you don’t understand. –via Groco
  35. What is the definition of a good tax accountant?Someone who has a loophole named after him.
  36. Why do some accountants decide to become actuaries? They find bookkeeping too exciting.
  37. What’s an accountant’s idea of trashing his hotel room? Refusing to fill out the guest comment card.

Accountant Jokes Cartoons

“Remember to tell the IRS your actual job rather than saying you work in finance like you do to impress dates.”

-via Someecards

accounting joke

“I might be more impressed with your job in the financial services industry if I had the foggiest idea of what you actually do.”

-via Someecards

accounting jokes

“Getting a new job is a great way to not have to lie about what you do.”

-via Someecards

funny accounting jokes


Are we missing any funny accounting jokes?

At Accounting Principals, we know that accountants can have an excellent sense of humour! What’s a good joke that you’ve heard lately? Share your thoughts in the comments section below, or if you’re in the accounting industry and interested in a new, rewarding position, view our current accounting job openings.


Accounting Principals

We're Accounting Principals--a leader in finance and accounting staffing. In fact, since 2010, we've been part of Adecco Group, a Global 500 company and leader in staffing services around the world. But this isn't staffing as usual. We take quite a different approach than most staffing agencies. A people-focused approach. We believe in forming real relationships with both our clients and our candidates. We want to understand the needs on both sides.